Welcome to beautiful Estes Park and the umpteenth annual Elk Fest! Here, people gather from all over the world to frolic with the trained and tame elk of Estes Park, CO. Or so the public is told…

In reality, it is a breeding ground for all manner of elk-human related catastrophe. Tourists are lured with the promise of the “tamest elk this side of the Rio Grande.” This is deceptive for two reasons: there are no elk on the other side of the Rio Grande and the elk here are wild animals.

The way I see it, this is an ingenious ploy conceived by the town of Estes Park to inflate both their tourism and hospital industries at once. Based on what I saw during my afternoon there, I estimate there are about 18 quadrillion goring/kicking/trampling injuries per season. People come for the frolicking; they stay 3 to 6 weeks for the gorings. Here is an excerpt from the Elk Fest brochure:

“Come visit Estes Park and see elk so tame that you can ride them like a toddler on a saint bernard!”

While I saw no such event occur, I did see several photographers get charged by a 800+ pound bull elk and even a few cows got rowdy. When humans and giant animals are in such close proximity, bad things happen. It was their land first and they should learn that we took it fair and square because we have bigger brains than them. Silly elk.

Soundtrack for the day: 311 – Down